Life Sucks. Be Happy.

The truth that no self-help guru will tell you is…

…you’re right. Life does suck.

There’s plenty of real, legitimate things to complain about.

The world is an awful, dark, depressing place full of evil people who do terrible things to good people constantly.

Pretending otherwise is not helpful in any way.

As a human, you will have bad days. You will witness horrible things. You will experience negativity, sadness, and anger.

But, you will also be given opportunities to reduce suffering in the world, create positive change, and experience true joy and fulfillment, if you’re emotionally mature and mentally strong enough to face the negative, while not being incapacitated by it.

So, be negative, sad, and angry.

But, also, be positive, grateful, and joyful.

Even though life sucks, you have to admit, it’s also pretty damn awesome.

Things Your Man Needs More Than Sex

➡️He needs RESPECT:-

Respect is like oxygen for men. It keeps him alive, in a manner of speaking.  And helps him thrive. Popeye needs spinach. Your husband needs respect. It’s the thing that makes him who he is. It’s almost like a magic serum to his soul. When he feels respected, he feels like he can conquer the world. He’s full of optimism and hope. He can handle tasks he otherwise might not think he can. He’ll care for you better, love you more passionately and see the world through a positive lens.

➡️He needs to know you’re HAPPY and CARED for:-

That old adage “Happy Wife, Happy Wife” is not a myth. It’s truer than we think. When you feel happy and secure, your husband feels happy. He wants to care for you. Your happiness gives him great comfort. When he feels powerless to make you happy, he’ll struggle. Men are natural “fixers.” He may even try to find ways to make you happy or fix your problems. Sometimes he sees your happiness as a direct reflection of him.

➡️He needs to create a LEGACY:-

He needs to know he’s contributed something to his time on earth that’ll live beyond him. He wants to be challenged and inspired but he wants to know what he’s doing will influence others long after he’s gone. He wants to make a difference.

➡️He needs to find healthy ways to LET GO of his anger:-

Men process emotions as anger. Seems strange to me, but they do. They express loneliness, sadness, hurt, or inadequacy as anger.  He might try the “look-at-me-I’m-all-cocky” route and internalize stuff. That only works for so long.  Eventually, he’ll explode. And we’re left scratching our heads thinking “what’s his problem?” One way men can deal with anger is by dealing with things and issues that have hurt them in the past. You may or may not have been involved in the incident.They need to find ways to forgive people who’ve hurt them or they may be consumed with rage and revenge.

➡️He needs time to THINK:-

As women, we need time to feel all the feels. He needs time to think all the thinks. Sometimes I’ll ask my husband a question and he’ll take longer to respond than I’d like. Or he’ll say, “I need some time to process that.” I used to think he was avoiding talking to me or choosing to ignore me, which would really tick me off.  In reality, he’s actually reflecting on what I’ve said and determining how to best answer me.

Impassioned is dangerous

By “impassioned” I mean excitement, excess, extremes. Romantic hedonism — new restaurants, gifts, travel, grandiose displays or constant reassurance or lofty, poetic declarations of love. If you want great love, these should make you want to run.

Bustle put out an article on “8 things to do when you get bored in your relationship.”

I’ll save you a read, because there aren’t “8” things to do. There’s only one thing to do, and it’s: “take responsibility for your own life and understand that it’s not your partner’s job to entertain you.”

There is, of course, a real benefit of trying new things and going to new places as a couple — but only if done with a calm heart, and never with the anxious frenzy to “do something!”

When we chase romance and excitement, we do to “love” what porn does to sex.

I can appreciate a sentimental surprise as much as the next girl, but nothing turns me off more than empty romantic gestures for the sake of the gesture.Given the choice, I’d rather take a dude who never does anything “romantic” but is stable and emotionally-secure every day.

“Passion” is dangerous to hang our hearts on because it fades away. It must either be doggedly pursued and constantly refueled, or it runs the risk of exposing the realization that there’s nothing underneath. Love built on frenzied pursuits leaves us fatigued and washed up, looking at each other at the end of our ropes, frustrated that we “can’t come up with anything else to do.”

In good love, there’s nothing “to do” except love one another. Every day. And it doesn’t depend on how we feel, because good, healthy love doesn’t hinge on our feelings; it’s a choice. Every day.

Can You Answer 'yes' to These Questions

Getting married is a big decision, and sometimes you wonder if your marriage will last even after you've said "I do." Life is a constant flow of unexpected twists and turns, and those constant changes can really impact a marriage. They can strengthen your relationship if you let them, but they can also do some serious damage.

So, how do you know if your marriage will last forever? You certainly can't simply hope your way through the relationship — you have to work hard. You have to be tough. And you definitely have to get really good at apologies and forgiveness.

But when you're going through a rough patch, it's hard to see the light at the end. It's so hard to imagine yourself ever being happy, let alone having a wonderful relationship.

When your relationship is going through a rough spot and you don't know if you'll make it, ask yourself these questions. If you answer "yes," you can get through anything.

1. Am I happy most of the time?

Your sweetheart isn't always going to make you happy, and you'll disappoint each other sometimes. But if you're happy for the most part, and your partner is a big part of that happiness, you've got something great going and you should never let it go.

2. Am I treated with respect?

You and your partner should always treat each other with respect. If your sweetheart listens to you, supports you and lifts you up, you're in a great relationship.

3. Is my partner nice to me?

This seems like common sense, but it's overlooked in many relationships. You and your partner should be kind to each other. If you're always calling each other names, yelling and saying mean things, work together to turn your relationship into a loving, safe place.

4. Would I be sad without them?

If you can't picture life without your sweetheart by your side, your relationship is super solid. When you have each other to lean on, you can get through anything life throws your way.

5. Do we help each other?

It's no secret that you're both human, and you both go through stressful times. You should do everything you can to lift each other up during those times and help each other whenever you can.

6. Does my partner make me want to be better?

Your sweetheart is amazing when they make you want to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be.

7. Do I want my marriage to last forever?

When you said "I do," you lovingly committed to a life with your sweetheart. Building a lasting marriage takes hard work, but it's so worth it. You absolutely can have a forever marriage if you truly want it and work for it.

8. Do I love my partner?

This simple question can open your eyes and make you realize just how much you care about your sweetheart. If you truly love each other, your marriage can last through anything.

When you're in the midst of a rough patch, slow down and ask yourself these questions. It might be hard at first, but once you know the answers, you'll be able to clear your head and strengthen your relationship.